When you have ADHD, every single decision takes a lot of mental effort, so you need to develop workflows so that you minimise the decision-making
Mornings and evenings are about health and life, and day is about work.
Guard the morning and evening routines like a tiger and nudge all chaos to the day time
Thanks for the insight into this world. A lot of what my daughter does makes sense now.
Idk if you're actually so stressed out or if it's just that you're writing about it that makes it come across that way, but it seems like a very stressful way to live if you worry so much about the consequences of each decision. And you're dependent on the outcome of each decision determine the next actions it seems like. So each decision is one step of a rube goldberg machine, and if any one thing is slightly upset, the whole thing comes crashing down.
It's difficult to live by principles if you don't know what you really like/want in life. Each decision for you seems equally important as the others. With most people, they don't look at it that way. They have a few priorities and the rest are adjustable. The reason they are able to do this is because they don't tie their self-worth to everything (or even anything) going perfectly. They recognize they have inherent worth, and decisions are a means to an end, not an end in themselves.
What worked for me is bullet journaling. I don't do it all the time, I don't do it perfectly, and I'm not even sure I'm doing it right, but I do the parts that work for me.
so once every three months, I come up with goals. I use a hybrid of the methods specified in the books The Bullet Journal Method and Eat That Frog. Goals are broken down into projects. Each projects has steps specified. Tasks I do everyday are connected to goals/projects. Everything goes into one notebook and some items go on my google calendar.
Every week, I take an hour or two to go over the tasks from the past week, what worked or didn't etc, and then come up with new tasks for this week. I prioritize the tasks based on the consequences for not doing them. A - high conseq, B - low conseq, C - creatively procrastinate, D - delegate, E - eliminate. Every week, I only really care about doing the A tasks, and sneak in the B and C tasks when I can. I only stress over the A tasks.
So I'm taking all the decisions on Sunday and don't have to really think about things day-to-day. There are a lot fewer surprises because I have anticipated most of them on Sunday. I'm not as worried about individual things going wrong because the structure of the week doesn't change too much and I don't sweat anything other than my A-tasks.
I'm in your shoes quite often, because my toddler wakes me up in the middle of the night for one reason or another and I can't go back to sleep easily. I don't beat myself up about it anymore because I did think about the whole week and I did plan my day, and I know there wasn't much to be done to change how things went. I usually prioritize sleep over everything, because I've identified sleep as the main driver of a successful day. So if I was in your shoes, I'd just turn off the alarm, and listen to a podcast to go back to sleep. Gym for me would be a B-task, and I'd just skip it for two days and get back into the routine.
The thing that would lead me to stress out about these things earlier was the feeling of "omg im skipping gym (Or something else) one day.... what if this becomes a habit?! I'm an awful person!!!". But now because I bullet journal and plan my week, I KNOW it's not going to become a habit, and even if it does, it would be so for a good enough reason.
Again, it comes back to knowing who you are and what you're doing. If you don't know yourself, you're going to be extra protective about the idea of your self, and you're going to see every deviation as an attempt to influence and control you. If you are confident in your idea of who you are, you're more okay with change, because you know who you are isn't changing.